Please join me in July, as I share this series on my journey of choosing home. I pray that you will be encouraged and strengthened as Godly women, as I share this path that our Heavenly Father has guided me through.
Part 1: Choosing Home ~ How I Abandoned Myself to God to Fully Serve my Family.
Part 2 – Choosing Home ~ How I Almost Died to Get There.
Part 3 – {Guest Post} I Want to Homeschool…But I Have to Work.
In my childhood, men could not be trusted. My father was an alcoholic and would take the grocery money to the racetrack most weeks. His choices put my mother in the all-to-common situation of having to work. Believe me I’m not being trite by sharing this series. I know there are women in situations who would give anything to be home with their children. For my mom it wasn’t about wanting new Nikes, it was about having food. I watched my father break her trust repeatedly. It was ’normal’ for me as a small child, to wake up and hear my father in a rage–breaking furniture, shattering glass, lost in his screams. Somewhere in the background, I’d hear my mother’s cries for the normalcy that we were never allowed to have.
Please pay the electric bill, thank you very much.
Years later, years filled with loosing our horse farms-which resulted in us living in a camper and “bathing” in gas station bathrooms-my mother and I were left clinging to fringes of hope. After her attempts to fix him, fix their marriage and fix our life, my parents separated. One weekend while I was at my dad’s apartment I broke out with chicken pocks. My dad brought me my meals and antibiotics on a little tray. On Monday morning, I awoke to the sound of gunshots. He’d checked out, leaving himself for me to find.
Fast forward to my married years {and skipping more dysfunctional narratives}, it’s not hard to understand why I had a huge distrust of men and carried a burden of self-care. God blessed me with an extremely gentle and patient husband who prayed for me. I was so lost in people pleasing and chasing the things of this world. Sure, you now have a small glimpse as to the “why” behind my motives and in a sense, they may be justifiable. It still wasn’t God’s best.
He is so faithful not to leave us in our messy conditions.
Choosing to be home with my children was about drawing a line in the sand. I didn’t care what it took; I was not going to miss their childhood. I’d gone back to school when our two oldest boys were small so I could homeschool them and still have a 2nd income. I was told that was good planning. Honestly, I wish now I could have those years back and have trusted my husband then to provide for us.
With God’s help I released myself to my husband when I stepped out in faith to stay home full-time. This was a gift to him. It finally allowed him to lead our family as God had ordained. The biggest thing that I did to help manage our finances was to get my hands out of them. I handled our finances for years. My husband would try to help but this only led to strife between us. I was carrying a burden that I was not intended to carry.
In the season before I came home full-time, I spent a lot of time working on our savings plan. I figured in just 8 more years of my working we could have our house paid off. The world would say, “Wow, way to go, you’re so financially savvy.” My guts were screaming, “That’s 8 more years of managing the Zombie night shift fog…8 more years of feeling like I‘m not fully living right now.” When I came home I had to let go of living for “someday” and cloth myself in enjoying the gift of today.
With my husband in his God ordained position to lead our household we have seen many blessings follow. Blessings that we couldn’t work out before hand on paper. God continues to meet our needs and provide for our hearts desires a long the way. {Here, I share about how God even provides flowers for my gardens.} Our home feels peaceful and in-order. I’m able to focus on my God given role as wife and mother. My husband is able to focus on his God given role as protector and provider. God is able to show us time and time again that He is Lord.
Have you enjoyed what you’ve read on Holy Spirit-led Homeschooling today? Please continue to connect with me via RSS feed, Facebook and Twitter!
This post is linked to Titus 2sday, Domestically Divine, Simple Homemaking Tuesdays, Raising Homemakers, Works for me Wednesday, Women Living Well, and Wise Woman Link-up.
really enjoying this series!!!
Great post and very encouraging. I blog for extra income so I can stay home with my boys (and I just started homeschooling last year). If you look at our finances on paper, which my husband doesn't like to do, it didn't- and probably still wouldn't make sense. But God has made a way.
I do reviews/write ups for free products and extra money but my blog is also my way of sharing the gospel with others and sharing biblical truth and personal stories as well. I hope you'll stop by sometime
By the way, I've been seeing that StumbleUpon share button on some blog sites like yours and I can't find it. Can you tell me where you got yours and is it a wordpress plugin?
What a beautiful story! I'm so sorry for what you had to go through as a child but I'm glad to see God use it for good for your family now. My childhood had it's share of struggles too and that's been one of my main motivations for being the best wife and mother I could possibly be. I love how God helps us do that despite the brokenness of our past! Thanks so much for sharing this!!
YES! Jesus is the true "healer and helper" of allllll "messes" in our lives!!!! I for one experienced "all" as you described…Jesus has brought me now "full circle" through it "all" as "HE" too has done for you into a "beautiful season of life"…"Jesus" truly NEVER fails us. Wonderful article!!!!! Fabulous "real" sharing!
Thank you ladies for the encouragement
I'm all for sharing the good, bad & ugly for God's glory! Tracy, I googled the stumble upon code for blogger. I see it on peeps WP post, but I'm not sure where to get it. 
Wow – thanks for sharing a glimpse into your life, the struggles and your trust in God to supply though your husbands work. Thanks for sharing.
You're welcome Kari! I count it a joy to share the "good, bad & ugly," as long as Jesus gets the glory.
I can imagine how hard it would be to trust your husband to provide. But God is good and he provides the right men for us. I know your husband feels extra blessed as you trust him more and more.
God is so good! What a blessing and encouraging testimony…thanks for sharing it with us.
I had to learn to trust as well and in our first few years of marriage my husband and I constantly fought about bills, I wanted to pay them and he wanted to drink. I would borrow money from my mother to pay bills and feed the family until the day God asked me to stop. It was because I took a step back from the finances and allowed my husband his responsibility, only then did things change.
I guess I just wanted to say I relate to your story on many levels.
That's wonderful! As women we need to let our husbands "be the man," and provide for their family.
Wonderful testimony, thanks for sharing.
Wow, look what the Lord has done in your life! And in sharing, you’re showing women like me that we’re not alone, that it doesn’t take growing up in “perfect” homes to be obedient to God and love Him!
**hugs**
No Angie it sure doesn’t mean growing up with “perfect” is required.
I want to write more about my childhood; Lord willing. 
Thank you so much. You have given me the strength I needed to know that I am not the only one and that it can be done. I to lived a hard childhood, nothing like yours and I am sorry you had to go through that, but thank you non the less for sharing. My husband is the sole provider and goes to school full time while I stay home with the kids. We are now in our 2nd year of homeschooling. Thank you again.