I worked full-time during our first three years of homeschooling. I told myself at that time I had to do so for the good of our family. I am in no way condemning any moms who are working outside the home and homeschooling. Homeschooling is a gift and it’s a blessing that you can work this lifestyle around whatever your family situation may be. {You can read my post on how to cope financially when you homeschool, or my series on homeschooling for free and frugal for more specifics.}
That being said, the Lord showed me that my heart was wrong. I had a lot of the world and worldly expectations on myself that He slowly revealed and guided me through overcoming. I chuckle though now, after having stepped out in faith to be home 100% full-time, at what I was REALLY working for.
Please laugh with me.
1.) Nikes–yes, I bought new name brand shoes all the time.
2.) Bath and Body Works–I still have several of the lotions and sprays left.
3.) Disney World–Every year.
4.) Brand New Vehicles–$40,000 van, and boy wasn’t it *grand* when it was totaled!
5.) Flowers, Flags & Outdoor Décor–I’m a sucker for garden stuff.
6.) Furniture–Shiny, new furniture. It’s old now.
7.) Wallpaper, Indoor Décor–I love to decorate.
8.) Lands End Bags–I was one of those ladies w/ the $50-$100 bag {initials too!}
9.) Unbudgeted Shopping–More shopping, I know…$200 here or there really adds up. Because I was working though, I could justify the extra spending because “I earned it.”
10.) Groceries and Fast-food–Because I was working so much I wasn’t able to meal plan or budget our grocery spending. I’d spend three times what I spend now just grabbing haphazardly, buying frozen pizza, eating out and a whole lotta’ “etc.”
BONUS: 11.) What others thought of me–OUCH! Yes, I admit it…it was very hard for me to let go of a job title. During my 12 years of public education, plus several more years of college, I was programmed that “you ARE what you ARE!” What would others think of me if I was “just” a stay-at-home mom? What would others think if I didn’t have any cool shoes? {I know, just laugh…it really IS FUNNY!}
How many women, homeschooling or not, miss out on fully enjoying the gift of serving their family for the things of this world? I’m the first to raise my hand friends. The devil is a liar and he has always lied to women. I encourage you that if you feel you are in the “working trap,” ask the Lord to bring you home. It may not be over night. For me is was a slow and steady process. Bit-by-bit he made a way for me to be home full-time.
Through this journey of my coming home, the Holy Spirit has shown me many ways to save, reuse and accomplish goals for pennies on the dollar. He’s also blessed my socks off time and time again by providing for many desires of my heart—like free tiger lilies by the gallon! My greatest desire of all is to serve Him, my husband and my children fully.
Thank you Jesus for your grace and mercy!
wow, I enjoyed reading this. I hope to be a SAHM someday.
-samantha
http://www.kreativekaring.com
Love this!! I've been a stay-at-home mom for 18 years (almost 19) and have absolutely loved it. We have definitely had to sacrifice a lot of "stuff" but it's soooo been worth it! I actually tried to work part-time a few times over the years to make some extra money for our family and I just couldn't do it. It would kill me to leave my family to go to work. God made me to be a wife and mom. Period. I can't imagine doing anything else.
It always makes me sad to hear women say that they "have" to work or that they couldn't be with their children all day. There are definitely ways to make it happen – as you've pointed out here! And to not want to be with your kids?!? I can't imagine. I love to hear stories of moms coming home!! Thanks for sharing yours!!
What a nice post. I never wanted to be a SAHM…until we had our son. Still not sure if it is in God's plan for me to be at home full-time (sometimes I feel like I have a real ministry where I work too), but we are working towards the goal of at least being home *more*. Thanks for the reminder to pray for it to happen as well.
Great post! Lots of people just don't understand that in giving up all that stuff you're gaining far greater things, the hearts of your children. It's not a death sentence to be a SAHM, it's a blessing of a lifetime (both yours and the kidlets)!
Joesette
I'm a SAHM, and I have met SO MUCH conflict when it comes to people close to me putting emphasis on the *need* they assume I secretly have to be away from my children and have a career. It makes me sad… and frustrated. I want to succeed at being what God made me to be ~ a mother! And I'm blessed to be able to stay home and live with less "stuff". I appreciate all of the support and encouragement I find in the blogosphere from mothers like you
Oh thank you for stating this so bluntly. I agree with you 100%,
Thanks ladies. I wanted to stress again that I’m in no way condemning or judging any homeschooling moms who are working outside of the home and homeschooling. I always tell moms who want to homeschool but can’t quit their jobs to *start where they are!* Personally, I’d much rather a mom keep her job and creatively homeschool than send her kid out in the world everyday to public school because she “has to work.” I thought I “had to work,” and besides the “silly stuff” that we really don’t need, the money I made did go into our regular budget too. It was hard for a season to see how I could ever quit. I had to lay my desire to be FULLY home down before the Lord and allow him to make a way for me to be 100% home. I’m working on writing more about this journey. The Lord has opened up writing as an outlet for me, which I‘m thankful for. Thanks so much for commenting and reading:)
What an encouragement! Isn't it amazing how much time is spent shopping for such things! I'm sure you've found better things to do at home with your family. I'm trying to shop less and just enjoy our blessings. There are many.
@Aiming4Simple…Oh, I agree–shopping is another “time sponge” too!!! That’s why, since I’ve been 100% home, we now do “Once-a-month” shopping
Read about that here: http://www.holyspiritledhomeschooling.net/2011/05/top-ten-tricks-for-successful-once.html
Yes! Becoming a stay-at-home wife (and now mother) was the best career move I ever made! Thanks for this.
I currently work full time outside the home and dislike it very much. My life has felt “out of order” for quite some time now. I have always felt “trapped” into working. The Lord has been working on my heart and revealing to me that I am not trapped and I need to trust in him. I will begin my homeschool journey at the end of January. I too will be coming home slowly as I plan to reduce my work hours from 40 to 20 to begin with. I know that coming home is God’s will for my life. If it’s Gods will then he will make a way.
That’s wonderful!
God is faithful!
I have to admit I am a tiny bit jealous. I want to be “just” a stay at home mom, too. Right now I am the only one supporting our family. I am grateful that I can homeschool. We only have school 3 days a week. About the only thing I spend money on on the list is shoes. I don’t spend a ton on them (I refuse to spend more than $40 dollars on a pair) but I am on my feet all day. Don’t forget the coffee drinks. People I work with have one almost every morning. I think it is awesome when women stay at home and care for their children. Also, I love your amazon kindle freebies and so do my kiddos.
I hear you, Jen. I went back to work full-time (weekends) again when my hubby was laid off for 5-months. Of course there’s a blog post about how God provided when my husband lost his job. I think you’re amazing, and YES, homeschool no matter what life situation you have to creativity do so through.
I’ve recently embraced that I am “just” a wife and mother. “Just” is not a demeaning comment, implying that I am not using my God given talents to the fullest degree. “Just” has come to mean to me that being a wife and mother is where my focus is. Those fields are my highest priority, not a place where I am wasting my time, energy and talents. I no longer try to come up with fancy titles for what I do, but am learning to say that I am a wife and mother. I don’t miss anything that I gave up; I’ve been freed it!